My bag all packed up

This is what it would look like if I were to take a picture of a surveillance camera watching me

Word of the Week

Chimney fire -- when your chimney catches on fire

To Build A Fire

Our first try was deep in the snow and we didn't have any paper except for my library card. The experience left me with frozen feet and no library card.


The second try was in Ansis' house. We had plenty of paper but we couldn't get it going. The trick is to wrap little pieces of wood up with pages out of the phonebook. This will leave you with a fire warm enough to thaw your feet and allow you to play poker.

The third try was more harrowing. We had a little bit more paper than the first try, but we were running out of matches, and the stakes were higher. Kristaps and Pēteris and Pika and I had been walking through the forest for an hour or so and we had no way of getting out in the near future, when Kristaps said "We stop here." When I asked why, he said "We will build fire..."

Kristaps' method involved lighting a coke bottle on fire. It didn't work and then me and Pēteris started up a little twig fire. After a few tries it all caught. I don't know why we had firewood but anyways we laid it on and then broke branches off trees and used those. We warmed our feet again (and Kristaps burned his coke bottle) and we split our separate ways.



Pēteris: If we go that way with Kristaps, there will be road, but that way is river and forest. We will go that way.

Five hours later I'm home and my butt has a big bump on it.

santa klaus

Nu ziemassvetki nu...

A Christamassy image from my Christmas night:

Vairis: (Is forty or fifty years old) This is my brothers!

Me: (I shake hands with them. I shake hands with Vairis' younger brother. He has a mustache. At first I think he has peculiarly small fingers, but then I realize that all the fingers on his right hand except for his pinky have been chopped off at the middle knuckle. It feels strange) Hello, it's nice to meet all of you.

Pēteris: If Romans don't go to woods hunting tomorrow, he will cut your hairs in factory where my father work.

Me: Fabulous.

(We pop open the champagne and start drinking brandy, and then vodka. You get in the mood for beans on Christmas)

Pēteris: Merry Christmas!

Armands: To you as well!

(We eat beans)

(We are watching Shrek 3 in Latvian)

Vairis: Fuck it... (He switches on the VHS)

(The TV starts up and it's a Latvian porno film. The man is wearing a condom in the woods and the woman is wearing nothing)

Armands: Merry Christmas!

(We drink)

This is the car now

Apparently we pulled the car down by the river and it's been there for about two or three days now. I saw some Russians taking pictures of it. It'll be there a long time.

Blee kurā dienā bus ziemassvetki?

I think the sentiment towards Christmas in Latvia can be just about summed up by a conversation we had last night while playing poker in Pēteris' basement:

Pēteris: (looking at the clock; it's midnight) Hey look it's Christmas!

Everone: Yay it's Christmas! Let's all kiss.

Pēteris: Wait, is Christmas the 24th or the 25th?

Ansis: It's the 25th.

Pēteris: Well then it doesn't count, it's just Christmas eve.

Ansis: So?

(Everyone continues the poker game for a while. A few people lose and are out of the game, and a few people go home)

Martiņš: (leaving) So, we're drinking tomorrow?

Built Ford Tough

This is what you see after your car fishtails off the road and hits a tree.

After we pulled the car out, Gatis tried to drive, but the fender was wedged into the wheel.

This is what the car looks like now.

When the tractor finally came we had to break the trees in order to pull the car out

This is what it looked like afterwards

It's a very simple equation I learned: when the road is more ice than asphalt, don't try going faster than the speed limit, and when the car crashes and you try to figure out what happened, don't yell "Ow my nose!" because it won't help anything. Oh, and don't let the guy (his name is Armands) who's only driven a car once in his life before drive. And wear warm socks, because it's gonna be snowing and you're gonna be out there for a good five or six hours and your feet are gonna be wet. And if you need to, don't be afraid to sit down in the sideways car for warmth.




I sat down in the car with Edijs and smoked a spanish cigar as he lamented the loss of his car. He told me it was a Ford and this pained me for some reason or another.

This means "Push"

The other one means pull. This is important information.

In Red Light District of Frankfurt

This reminds me of the entrance to the Church of Scientology in Berkeley

Europe is an Amusement Park

They make you pay for everything, including the bathroom. In places I know like Riga, I know ways to get around this(my friend, who is a girl, goes up to the lady who collects the money and holds up a tampon with a grimace and is let in immediately), or places to go instead (big shopping centers tend to have free bathrooms), but I was stuck in a Polish bus station where I didn't know anything. I looked around for a while, but it seemed there would be no getting out of the 1.15 zloty charge to use the stupid toilet.


I bought the cheapest, biggest loaves of bread I could find and shoveled my face with them, washing it all down with dollar hot chocolate. If I was gonna have to pay to defecate then dammit I'd get my money's worth. I ate another loaf of bread and then went to the bathroom, slamming my change on the counter with a mischievous grin and then going into the stall. I sat down and then realized that they'd won the battle. There was no toilet paper. The bastards. Luckily I had some extra toilet paper in my pocket for emergency uses, but still, I left the experience feeling very defeated.

Bus #2 Warsaw - Riga

The bus to Riga was amazing. I'd spent the day shivering in an underground bus station and trying not to fall asleep before my bus left, and I was ready. I got in and sat down, this time in my correct seat. I was surrounded by people talking loudly. As soon as the bus left they all dispersed and I was left with two seats to myself. Not only this, but there was a vertical beam on my left that would prevent my head from sliding down the glass. Also, Eastern Europeans seem to have the tendency to be much more polite than western Europeans, evidenced by the fact that all the bums and stuff in Germany try to scam you or otherwise pretend they're not begging (A guy came up to me and said "look I only need 80 more cents to get on the train!" and showed me that he had ten euros in his wallet. I didn't give him the money, and I saw him do the same thing to everyone within my view. Anyways, so the bus was silent and we were on our way. Needless to say, the sleep was better than any hotel. I woke up once in Lithuania, and then again in Latvia. It was like flying JetBlue.

Bus #1: Frankfurt to Warsaw

I slept on my first actual, bona fide bus last night, and I don't think i was prepared. It started out all wrong, as I realized I didn't know exactly where the bus stop was. I eventually found it, but when I gave my ticket to the driver, I didn't know enough Polish or German or Russian to understand what I was supposed to do next. Eventually I followed this lady onto the bus and sat down somewhere unassuming. Thus began the next major problem. There was the number 38 written on a little piece of paper the driver gave me. I looked around desperately for seat numbers. If I took someone's seat, it would be all bad. I know in Latvia it doesn't matter which seat you take, but this seemed different. I couldn't find numbers, so I finally sat down, until some old guy looked down at something. It was the seat number, which meant not only that there were seat numbers, but that they were important. I found the right seat, but somebody was sitting there already. I have to admit I panicked. Either she had taken my seat and I was left in the abyss of seatlessness, or seats didn't matter. The bus finally took off and I was relieved for a moment. I knew that we would stop and some grisly Pole would wield a knife to force me out of the seat that was rightfully his at any moment. And I still wasn't sure if I was on the right bus or not. The driver played Johnny Mnemonic in Russian for us, and I tried to sleep. We stopped and sure enough I was ousted out of my seat by an unassuming German girl. I went to sit next to the guy that had been smacking his lips all night.

I had been expecting the bus to be filled with traveler types, but it was all either Germans going to Poland, or Poles coming from Germany, and they were all middle-aged or old.

Anyways so I had been expecting some sleep, but the DVDs kept on rolling until past midnight, when everyone simultaneously stopped talking. I managed to get my head comfortable, at the expense of my ribcage, but even then I drifted in and out of a sort of quasi-sleep. I kept switching positions.

At 3:40 in the morning someone said something, and then the whole bus took the cue and started talking and eating chips and cupcakes, and I was left without even a drop of water to dry my parched lips. At about 8 in the morning I could feel Warsaw in the distance. It couldn't be much farther now! My agony would soon end. Four hours later we were still driving along, and only after 19 hours on that painful bus could I get up and walk, and I don't know quite how my body managed it. I left my hat on the bus by accident but it was worth it.

On the bright side I like Warsaw so far.

one night in frankfurt

Last night I was in the red light district of Frankfurt trying to take a picture of my hostel above an adult video store.

Germans apparently don't like this, because a nearby group of Frankfurters started yelling at me loudly. One of them was screaming violently, as if to say "Hey motherfucker! That's my fucking favorite adult video store! Don't take pictures of my fucking favorite adult video store!" I didn't hear it at first because my headphones were on, and by the time I figured out it was me they were yelling at, they were coming after me. I don't think I was made for this country.

Germany

Germany is basically just America with SmartCars.

Airplanes are antiamerican

Have you ever fallen asleep on a flight from SFO to JFK? No, no you have not. It's physically impossible. Even if you do get comfortable, it's only really five hours so it's not even worth it. There was one woman who came prepared with noise cancelling headphones and a silk eyethingy(i cant think of words right now).

Personally I would consider airlines to be rapists. They force you to take off all your clothes and take everything out of your pockets and then if you didn´t do it right you end up holding up the line and everyone gets mad. Then you have to put everything back on as fast as you can otherwise the line gets held up again and now it´s happened twice so they´re not just mad, they also hate you. The problem isn´t the hate, it´s that now you´re really uncomfortable. Your clothes are all crooked and stuff, and you´re dressed for the outdoors even though it´s really very warm inside.
The lines are of indeterminate length and speed, so you don´t know if you should be holding your bags for mobility or for comfort, and either way you always make the wrong choice, and once you get out of that line, there´s always the possibility for yet another line just at the end of this line. So you don't know if this wait is the means to an end, or if this line is all there is, and all there will ever be.
And then if you have a connecting flight, they of course rape you again and any comfort you may have achieved disappears. It seems like there's something very wrong about a place that spends hours preparing you for something that only even takes a couple hours, and then takes your money. I think airlines go against all that is american. From now on I'm not crossing any ocean by air, only boat or possibly submarine or hovercraft.

Leaving for Europe Tomorrow

My flight leaves SFO at six in the morning, so i'm taking an inventory: CDs - 80, Sweatshirt - 1, PowerBars - 14, Copies of that Violent Femmes CD - 2. Good to go.
Hopefully I'll catch some sleep on the plane. It's not a bus, but close enough.